YOU ARE HERE NOW / That’ll learn ’em!

Paulo Coelho, the Brazilian author of The Alchemist, once said, “A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”

NOT TO PICK HOLES in this brilliant fella’s views, but I can think of plenty more than three. Pretty much every time I have hung out with my small person since the day he was born I have learned something new. It is utterly inconsequential that many of these valuable lessons have been on subjects about which I didn’t realise I needed to know. So, given that I am now in the position to pass such sage-like views on to you good folks, I thought I would do just that.

1

You can ruin a person’s whole day by giving them a different-coloured sippy cup.

2

Tiredness is for the weak. It doesn’t matter if you woke up at 4.30am then raced around non-stop all day like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Roadrunner whilst mainlining Haribo, bedtime is for suckers. Never underestimate the fact that your child can be utterly convincing, in the middle of an exhausting meltdown, when they say that everybody in their class goes to bed at thirteener and fourteener o’clock.

3

That it’s okay to cheat at Monopoly. OK, so cheat is a strong word. What I actually meant is “play
by the rules”. You know “the rules”? Yes, the same ones liable to change at a moment’s notice on the whim of the banker. The banker can only be someone aged seven. And God forbid anyone wants to read the instructions.

4

Try as you might, you will not truly influence your child’s musical tastes. Baby Shark is here to stay. Get used to it.

Until next time TotRockers, here are a few other words of wisdom from some other Dad La Soulies explaining what they have learnt from the small people they are responsible for.

“Sometimes you can’t debate or reason – you just have to go with it.”

“I have learnt to live in the present. Kids are not bothered with the past or the future. This is what makes them happy and joyful. They tend to enjoy the moment, rather than get caught up with what has previously happened or what might happen tomorrow.”

“I now know and understand what a Split Diagraph is. This information is of no use to me whatsoever and I highly suspect it’s of no practical use to my daughter either.”