“Let’s put Worthing back on the map.”

 

THAT’S WHAT THEY SAY, ISN’T IT? Those people who think they’re doing something splendid for the town. Back on the map. Like it fell off Google because the people of Worthing played too much bowls. Here’s a thought for you: what if, like in America, Worthing is in the centre of the map? What if I told you that we could become as rich and powerful as an American film studio?

 

It’s really quite simple: we just invent the Worthing Cinematic Universe. Like the Marvel one, only Worthing.

 

We’ve got the sets. Worthing is awash with buildings that could pass for shady government facilities, and I’m not even talking about the actual ones. There’s the building near Lidl that looks like there are robots being built within its walls. What is the Dome Cinema if not the base for an elect group of Heroes? And that new Worthing Observation Wheel: I mean, there’s got to be a plot involving that somewhere, a plan to make it spin so fast that everyone gets really dizzy.

 

Next up, we need a villain, some horrible treacherous fiend who threatens to rebuild Teville Gate whilst maniacally laughing. Some evil eyebrowed monster who wants to replace our sandy beaches with stony ones. And a hero, someone with a cape that flows like the waves on the sea. A Captain Worthing, if you will. Someone to punch seagulls right out the sky before they swoop down and eat your chips.

 

It’s time, again, to turn to you, to come up with the inhabitants of this Cinematic Universe.

 

Who would be the superheroes? Who would be the villains? And what stories would you include?

 

Draw me some concept art, pitch me a storyline, film me a film. I mean, if you want to, I’m not your boss.

 

Remember what I said about maps? Putting Worthing back on the map? What with the internet, and smart phones making maps irrelevant, why do we even need to be on the map at all? Maps are boring. Why don’t we put Worthing in the pictures instead?

 
By Joe Bunn

Joe also writes the Listening Party, where he reviews a band or album. Find it in the music section of the magazine!

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